i literally can not believe your appearance is more important you you than having me in your life is. why am i so fixated on you. three years of being treated this way and i still haven’t figured out how to walk away. it seems so easy until the realisation that you’re out of my hands kicks in and i collapse. i want you to be mine and no one else’s. that’s the problem, i don’t want you to be with anyone else, touch anyone else. even if you’re not with me, i can deal with that, but i can’t deal with the thought of you kissing someone else because that makes me crazy mad and i hate it. i hate worrying and being scared all the time. i hate that jealous feeling, it’s uneasy and sickening and horrible. i want to move on but i won’t let myself, this inner conflict is killing me. you really don’t deserve me, you’ve stopped trying and i know it, but it’s always been you and me and i don’t know how to change it. it’s worse than ever this time. fuck.